Its that time of night again..

Waring this is going to be a woe is me entry....
This is the time of night that I find hard as a single mum....its the moments following the children going off to sleep when it would be nice to sit on the sofa and snuggle with someone and have an uninterrupted  adult conversation.  I guess its some what harder as there is a special someone that I would like sitting beside me on the sofa but for various reasons its just not possible.  I wish at times that we could sort things out and go back to what we used to have..it wasn't perfect or even normal but it was good and a beautiful little boy is proof of that.  I am not really sure what happened but something did and as a result things are complicated.  Its not that I want it all I was happy not living with him and just spending weekends with him doing things and enjoying each others company but even that doesn't happen all that often.  Mostly I just find myself missing him and wishing I could be with him but still finding myself alone.  We have tried ending things completely but it doesn't last long.  I really can't work out why he still keeps coming back its not like he couldn't get someone else because he can.  I don't know I just can't seem to work men out they never know what they do or don't want these days.
So long story short I am feeling lonely and missing the man that I love and more then anything else at the moment I wish that I could be wrapped up in his arms watching something stupid and pointless on the tv but more so I guess that I wish that I could tell him that I miss him.............