Never let fear hold you back from experiencing life

Because you never know what amazing things you might miss out on...

In November 2009 I made the decision to move over 2000km away from everything and everyone I knew. I was scared out of my mind and really had no idea what I was doing or why. I left everyone and everything that was safe and familiar behind on the promise of a job working for my father and a house to live in.  In May 2010 I was worried that I had made the wrong choice because my father ended up having to close the shop and I was left with out a job and place to live (they wanted to move back into their house). 

Now as I sit here I know that the choice I made was the right one. If I hadn't made that decision I would never have met the man who although not perfect is the right man for me, yeah we need some help sorting out where we stand most of the time but what we have works for us.  I also wouldn't have my gorgeous second little boy who along with his big brother makes life worth living every single day.  Since coming here I have made some amazing friends who spoiled me rotten on my birthday with a massage a set of acrylic nails and my best friend from high school who they managed to sneak into town.  They also tied me to a chair and blind folded me before leaving me alone in the lounge room with a man who they had me convinced was some random stripper turns out they had hacked my phone called my boyfriend and convinced him to pretend to be the stripper.  Without the support of these friends I wouldn't have found the courage to follow my dreams to become a teacher.  Nor would I have found the courage to try and buy my own home which I move into in 3 days time.  

My life isn't perfect but at the moment it is looking pretty darn good even with all of the problems that I still have to deal with daily.   If I had of left the fear of the unknown prevent me from experiencing some of the most amazing life changing events that I have experienced over the last 2.4 years.. I am really excited to see what happens next. 

Who is she?

She is the one who loves you...

She is the one who cries for you.....

She is the one that will always be there...

She is the one that pretends everything is ok....  

She is the one that will let you walk all over her...

She is the one that you will always regret letting go of....

She is the one that would have made your life perfect if you had of given her the chance..

Sunday afternoon boredom

Its Sunday afternoon and I am sitting here bored out of my brain.  So what do I do when bored on a sunday afternoon to avoid packing?  Watch Twilight of course.  Don't worry this isn't going to be a post about the awesomeness of Twilight...
I really should be packing.  I got what I thought was a lot done yesterday but looking at it again it doesn't really seem like all that much.  Its a very long slow process this packing stuff.  It probably doesn't help that I am sort through a lot of stuff and throwing out giving away the things we no longer want or need... Already I have given away about 4 bags of clothes that no longer fit the boys.  I gave away a few of my own too there is one box with  a dress in it that I am trying to decide on a future for.  Its my wedding dress.  Because I am in the process of getting divorced I really don't think I should be hanging onto it anymore.  It wouldnt matter if I was planning on wearing it again because its like 2 sizes too big for me now anyway.  So the question remains what does one do with a wedding dress they no longer want?? I could sell it but I am not too sure I would be comfortable with that so I am thinking I might end up giving it away.  The dress really is quite beautiful and deserves to be worn again and I kind of hope by giving it away who knows it might bring some positive energy my way and I might actually be able to have the kind of relationship I want with the guy I love....wishful thinking at its best.  Anyway I think that maybe it might be time for me to go and do some more packing..

My 31st birthday was....

Freaking awesome...  I really didnt know how the girls could top a pink cordless drill but they managed it.  How you ask?  Well they started off with surprising me at the school with my best friend of almost 17 years.  She had arrived in town the night before and spent the night at one of the girls house and they then managed to hide her and have her call me and then walk up behind me.  End result tears from Shannon.. They then took me for coffee and dropped me off at the salon where they had arranged an hour long massage and set of new nails which look awesome with the drill.  That was followed by sushi out the front of the kids school as they wanted to make the open day.  I didnt think the day could get better but they came around later that night and we had some drinks before they tied me to a chair and blind folded me, I really didnt know what to expect and if I had of taken a guess I would never have guessed what was to follow.  They left me in the lounge room tied to the chair in the company of the man who had been given instructions to put on a show for me and to remove the blind fold when he was ready to.  You can imagine my surprise when the man I loved was on the other side of the blind fold.  It seems they had hacked my phone stolen his number and called him and invited him to the party.  It was only after he had agreed to come did they decide to pretend they had organised a stripper.  All up it was a great day that ended perfectly.  I am very lucky to have so many awesome people in my life <3

What do you get a chick for her 31st birthday???

A bright pink cordless drill of course!  Especially if that chick is me.  Its my birthday tomorrow and my lovely friends are organizing something special for me but due to previous bad birthdays I am a bit weary of what is going to happen.  I really hate my birthdays and would rather just skip over them, I didn't even want to tell my oldest boy that it was my birthday but the girls managed to make sure that he knows.  I guess the thing I really don't want to think about this year is that the one person that I want to make me feel special wont even remember.  I guess the fact is he set the standard too high 2 years ago without even realising it though one has to wonder just how bad a birthday has to be that decorating a shop brought cake with snakes and candles could possibly be classed as setting the standards too high but if you had of had half of my birthdays then you could totally understand it.  It could be easy for you to say I am being over dramatic but really between my parents forgetting my birthday no parties between the ages of 5 and 18 and having 3 people who were apart of my life died on or a few days before my birthday its kind of hard to get excited about what is supposed to be the one day you are special when you have never been made to feel overly special in the past.   I guess its easier in my case to have low expectations that way I wont be so disappointed in the end.  I don't think I will be disappointed tomorrow but that doesn't make me overly enthused about it happening.

I really don't care if you need to pee....

But I do care that you felt the need to stand in front of my bedroom window at 11 pm and share it with the town at the top of your lungs.  I especially care that in doing so you woke my baby up!  If you feel the need to do it again I will be throwing his shitty nappies at your head and trust me I won't miss! 

I am well and truly over the loud mouthed drunks that walk past the house at all hours heading to the servo to find food to help them sober up.  One more month that's all I have to put up with it for and then it will be someone else's problem.  It has been somewhat interesting living here over the past 19 months that's for sure.  I even had to call the police to remove a dunk in a tux that was asleep on my front steps.  The really funny thing is I will probably miss all of the drama, although I get the feeling that the new neighbor hood wont exactly be quite either but it shouldn't be as bad.  But its late and I have to get the big boy up for school in the morning so should go drag my bum off to bed.